As I mentioned previously, I had taken to Tinder to meet some new people here in Toronto. I made plans with one of my matches, TheaterKid, to hang out on a Wednesday to drink some wine and watch a movie or something. “Watch a movie” …. everyone knows what that means, but I wasn’t wanting that. I wasn’t wanting a sexcapade, and I was really hoping that was not what he was expecting. I usually get nervous before meeting someone new, so just like any other time I was running through all of the things that could go wrong.
- What if he thinks I’m ugly?
- What if I think he’s ugly?
- What if he is super weird… how do I get him to leave ASAP?
- What if we have nothing in common and we end up just sitting in silence?… That was the big one. He was into musical theater. What the hell did I know about that? I love musicals, and I have been a dancer since I was about 3 years old, I have musical ability, but I was not a “drama kid” in high school or anything. Drama was fun, but it wasn’t my thing. I’m a science kid.
He arrived on the Wednesday evening at my basement apartment. He was cute. Very well dressed. Very nice hair. Very nice teeth. And oh, very nice shoes. Anyone who really knows me, knows I have this “thing” about teeth. He wasn’t the kind of guy I would normally be attracted to.
We went into my room, started drinking the wine he brought, and chatted. I started rambling on about something weird like artificial insemination of cows, I can’t even remember. I was just nervously rambling, and I actually pointed out that I knew I was rambling, but he didn’t seem too phased by it.
Not too long into our interaction, he laid down on my bed and said, “ask me a question.” When I go back and forth asking questions with people, I tend to skip all the questions that lack substance like, “what is your favourite colour?” “favourite animal?” “favourite food?”. I do come back to those questions when I run out of really good ones, but I like to get deep into it. What’s the point if you don’t ask hard questions. So, I replied with, “what is one of the saddest times in your life.” Dark, I know, but it says something about a person how they reply to hard questions like that. He was a bit thrown off, but he did answer, and it wasn’t a happy story, obviously. I appreciated his openness, since I am a very open person. We continued exchanging questions and answers to a large variety of questions, and as we did, I became increasingly intoxicated.
Aaaaaand then, all of the sudden I was drunk.. 3/4 of a bottle of wine. Usually that gets me happy, but not to the point where I feel like I’m about to face plant when I get off the bed. If anything, it was just a bit embarrassing. We continued chatting about our home lives, our schooling, and the people we knew. Turns out, in Grade 6, the girl I’m friends with from Parry Sound and TheaterKid were dating for like a week. Too funny. Good ol’ elementary school “relationships”. We started getting physically closer and closer to one another as we continued to talk, and I decided to lay down on the bed because it was getting really late, I was drunk, and I was tired. He laid down beside me; we faced one another and continued talking.
Okay, so, everyone knows how it goes. You know you want to kiss someone eventually in the time you are spending together. You both start off sitting kind of far apart from one another, and through out the time together, you inch closer and closer. Then maybe they put their hand on your leg, or you lay your head on their shoulder briefly, or you touch his chest in a flirty way. You all know what I’m talking about. Then your faces are strangely close, and you’re kind of wondering how they even got so close. Wondering if he wants to kiss you or if you should kiss him. Then maybe he makes the move or you make the move, or maybe no one makes a move and one of you pulls a little bit further away and everything back tracks. Orrrrr…. you do what I do. You make it nice and awkward.
“Soooo, are you going to kiss me? Or, like, what are we doing here?” Oh yea, just call them out on it, and that’s what I did. And he kissed me almost instantly. Works like a charm for me. It kind of gives them permission, you don’t have to just “go for it”, and I think they get a little embarrassed that they hadn’t done it earlier and try to make up for it in that moment. There is all this lead up to the kiss. You think about it, have these expectations about how it will be, and usually the first kiss falls short, but my oh my, this one did not fall short.
Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much from him. He seemed too sweet and dorky to be a phenomenal kisser. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was how tired I was, or maybe it was because I’ve had the past few months full of a below par kissers, but I’m going to go ahead and say… It was probably the best first kiss I have ever had (and I’ve kissed my fair share of people)…In a city that isn’t mine, in an apartment that isn’t mine, in a bedroom that isn’t mine, in a bed that isn’t mine, was where my probably best first kiss happened, out of all places.
I’m not usually one for soft kisses. I enjoy assertive, ‘I need you now’ kind of kisses, or at least I thought I did. His kiss was so soft; not in the way that it was boring or lacking something, but in a way that made my whole body just melt when his lips touched mine. It’s rather difficult to explain actually. We kept kissing and kissing, and the way he would hold my face as we kissed made me melt even more. Holy. I was basically just a puddle of what used to be a rather physically assertive woman when this guy kissed me, and this whole thing made me smile. I couldn’t help it.
The whole thing was very unexpected for me, and went way better than I was expecting. Turns out, he wasn’t expecting how well everything went either. I guess sometimes you need to take a chance on somebody who isn’t usually your “type” to realize what it is you’ve been missing out on.
Update: The pigeons have now started mating non-stop on the window ledge outside of my office.