I lived a pretty mundane childhood. I had barn chores, I had a bed time, and I was given time outs (although I never really did get grounded). My parents supported me, encouraged me, loved me, and disciplined me. My parents, for the most part, were not unreasonable. They gave my sister’s and me most of the things we wanted, and we went on many family vacations. Walt Disney World, Jamaica, Cuba. I have always had a good group of friends, and I love them. All of them. The point is, in the grand scheme of things, my life hasn’t been much of a struggle. However, my soul has always been an open, confused, and frustrated one. I have a hard time understanding what it wants. I never felt like anyone really understood what I meant, or how I thought about the world. And then I met him.
He got it. Everything I explained, he knew exactly how I felt, I didn’t have to try to explain my unique thought processes to people who didn’t understand anymore. I think he saved me.
Saved me from changing the way I thought just to fit in with everyone else. Saved me from becoming someone who was not me. He helped me.
He helped me allow myself to embrace who I am, and the kind of person I want to become. Recently, he has taught me by example. He inspires me.
We are those people who walk slowly through the cold winter air to look up into the clear, vast, night sky, and stop for a moment. We gaze at the stars, close our eyes, and breathe. Taking that breath and opening our eyes to view the stars once more, to feel like time may have stopped, just for a moment. Just to take the time to really live in those few seconds. Taking it all in.
We are those people who can look at one another. Look into one another’s eyes, and really see that person. Through the window to the soul that is a person’s eyes, we see each other.
We are those people who care and love so deep and so passionately that it terrifies us.
He was my teacher, my confidant, my friend through the things in my life that none of my other friend’s really understood, and I was the same for him.
I could tell him everything and anything without a worry of being judged or laughed at or not understood, and I wanted to know everything and anything that he had to say.
There are many people in your life. They only listen to the things you have to say because they are purely curious, not because they really care about how it all affects you. People will hear you talking, but not listen, and some will listen, but they won’t understand. He understood. He cared. I understood. I cared.
He is my best friend, but it took me a while to realize it. Ever since high school, whenever someone were to ask me who my best friend was, I would tell them that I didn’t have one, but I had many close friends.
Then, one day he said to me, “Holly, I think you are my best friend. I think you have been my best friend for a while now, but I just didn’t know it.” I thought about that, and it hit me. How did I not realize. He is my best friend.
Months passed by until I really figured it out. While writing letters for him to take on his most recent travels, I stopped writing. I thought about what he was to me. And sitting at my desk, with music playing in the background, it came to me. How had I not known?
He is my soul mate.
At the time I became aware of this, I will admit, I loved him romantically. However, since then, our romantic love has drifted, and I still believe he is my soul mate and always will be. From all of this, I have developed the opinion that a soul mate does not have to be your boyfriend or husband. It does not have to be someone who you are involved with romantically. I have come to realize that your best friend can be your soul mate. I have been able to find something some people will search for their entire lives and never find.
I was lucky enough to find it.
To find him.